ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
