My nipple is on Facebook.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize