There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
