im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Vodka?
Forever.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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