she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
last night I used snow as a chaser
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