I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
What a fucking waste of an outfit
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
