literally had 100 drinks last night.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
