how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
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She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
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i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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