I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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