if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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