he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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