Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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