is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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