Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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