You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
