Umm I'm too high to move.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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