i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
