Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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