my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Randomize
