We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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