My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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