So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
