thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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