im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
soo... how was my night?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
