So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
