I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
