Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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