i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
