he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Randomize
