I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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