Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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