Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So much Jack, so little girl.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
