But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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