Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
