i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just want to make out with him forever
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
