me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
