My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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