I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
