shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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