Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
