can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
