CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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