Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
