They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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