I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
