I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
