its not stalking. its research.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize
