Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
