Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
