That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
