the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize