Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
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