Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
