ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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