I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Thank you for not boning my boss.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
