his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
i've created a new STD.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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