24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
