My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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